Unconditional Love

Is the ability to love unconditionally just something that happens when you meet the right person, or is it something that you need to grow in? Maybe its just cause I am human...or maybe I just suck at it...but I really think this is an area I need to grow in, and I am not sure how! And I don't know if I am the only person in the whole world that feels like this...

I mean, I know we are all selfish. I certainly am. Its easy to feel like the whole world should exist to make ME happy. And I fight so hard not to be like that. I want to desperately care for others' needs more than my own. I want to desperately give to others all that I have, if it will make them happy. I want to desperately love everyone that crosses my path, although that certainly can be a challenge. But loving unconditionally...that's huge. And I am scared I don't know how to do that!?

If I meet someone amazing...I feel like I can always find little things about them that should be changed. Now...sometimes thats ok, because I also want people in my world who love me to be able to help me grow and become a better person in areas that I need it. But it can so easily cross the line into nagging them to death. And...nagging is actually something that the bible repeatedly talks about!! The amount of times in Proverbs that it talks about how bad nagging is is amazing to me. Although...I guess this means that God knew it was a problem (sadly, mostly for woman!!), even 2000+ years ago. If I have learnt anything...its that nagging doesnt work. It can be incredibly destructive to a relationship. So...there has to be a better way.

Imagine a relationship where both people love the other person unconditionally. If both people spend their lives putting their needs to the side, in order to love and bless and please the other person...surely both people win!? If a husband (no stereotype meant) goes out of his way to put the rubbish out, even if he doesn't feel like it, because he knows it will please his wife...then she wont need to nag him. If a wife allows her husband to watch sport on a Saturday afternoon, and even sits down and watches it with him, even if she doesn't really want to, and makes the effort to enjoy it...I wonder if the love will just naturally start to grow between them more and more?

So what can I do people? How can I learn to love unconditionally? Is it some magic thing that just happens when I meet Mr Right? Or...maybe its something I need to keep practicing everyday. From NOW. I suspect its not an instant thing. I think, like anything, its something that takes practice. Really learning to be that living sacrifice and put my needs/wants/opinions to the side, and put someone else's first. Accept that noone is perfect (CERTAINLY not me) and therefore, just as Christ chose to love me with all my faults...learn to look beyond the superficial imperfections and love the depth of the person inside. Choose not to point out someone else's mistakes, but encourage them instead. And keep seeing the potential in them. Actually go out of my way to do things that I don't really want to do, because it will make someone else happy.

Unconditional love is hard. But all good relationships (especially marriages) need it to be at the centre of the relationship. So...I guess I better start practicing now...

From the world of Joyce...

So...I found this in my email today. I think it is a blog from Joyce Meyer...but I
loved it so much I wanted to put it here for others to read. So...Enjoy!

"I've learned something in my own pursuit of a stress-free life: If I want peace
rather than the pressure of stress in my life, I must choose to seek direction
from God in every situation. Our God is a God of peace. He'll always lead us
toward peace and joy, not anxiety and frustration. Therefore, we have to be
listening for His voice. By following His voice, we can find peace and
overcome the stress that so many are dealing with today.

To find peace in our lives, we simply need to obey the
promptings God gives us each day. A prompting is a "knowing" deep down
on the inside, telling us what to do. First Kings 19:11,12 refers to this knowing
as a still, small voice. A prompting isn't a whack on the head with a hammer!
In 1 Kings, the Lord didn't use the great and strong wind, the
earthquake or fire to prompt Elijah. His voice came to Elijah as a sound
of gentle stillness and a still, small voice. A prompting doesn't even
have to be a voice at all. In fact, God often gives direction by
speaking to your heart rather than to your ears.

Since a prompting is very gentle, some might question whether or not
it's from God. When you're unsure about a prompting, it's often easy to
ignore it. One time after I had been shopping at the mall for three or
four hours, I sensed that God was saying, "You need to go home now." I
had only purchased half of the eight items on my shopping list, so I
ignored the prompting and kept on shopping.

The remaining items on my list weren't immediate needs. But, like many
determined, goal-oriented people, I wasn't about to leave that mall
until I purchased every item on my list. I had come for eight items, and
I was going to leave with eight items! I didn't care if I had to be
dragged out of that mall; I wasn't leaving until every item was crossed
off my list! And I wasn't going to listen to any voice that said
otherwise.

I remember reaching the point of being so tired and upset that I wasn't
able to think clearly. All I wanted to do was finish shopping and get
out of there. It was almost more than I could do to remain civil to the
other shoppers and clerks in the store. I was stressed out!

Looking back, I can't remember how many times I've done that-stress out
because I've pushed beyond the prompting of the Lord. I can always tell
I've gone too far when I'm not able to practice even the most basic
manners-politeness, kindness and self-control. If I simply had obeyed
the prompting of the Lord when I heard that still, small voice telling
me to go home, I would've easily relieved the stress from the situation.
Instead, I pushed my way through in my own determination to achieve my
goal, and I ended up bringing stress on myself and everyone around me.

If we'll simply learn to listen to God and do what He says, we'll
discover that things will go well for us. No matter what the situation,
we need to listen to God and obey His voice. Proverbs 3:6 states: In all
your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and
make straight and plain your paths. You may not understand the reasons
that God is asking you to do certain things, but as you listen to His
voice and obey His direction, you can experience a peaceful calmness as
your stress level begins to decrease. So listen up...and de-stress!"

The Wilderness Times...

I was listening to a message by Joyce Meyer today (www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/Broadcast/ ...totally recommend her website, if you dont already watch her!!) and in one of her messages she talked about the Israelites in the wilderness. She said that all of the time spent in the wilderness was to train or teach them in warfare, and to allow them to get to know who they were and who God was. So that by the time they arrived at their destination...they were ready.

And it made me think...do I see my time in the wilderness as having any purpose, or do I just see it as killing time between places/circumstances? People talk about doors closing and other doors opening...but not many people talk about the corridor time in between.

If you feel like you are in a bit of a wilderness season...when you are waiting for the next door to open so you can get out of this corridor...stop for a second and ask yourself what God might be trying to teach you. These seasons can be so vital to teach you character skills that you need when you reach the other end of this journey.

If you are being trained in warfare, then you would need to wear some protective gear. And I think that often the lessons He is teaching us is how to put on that armour. In Ephesians 6: 14-17 it talks about the Armour of God, which involves Truth, Righteousness, Readiness, Peace, Faith, Salvation and the Word of God. I think that during my times of Wilderness...these are always areas that I need to grow in. Learning to recognize the Truth from my emotions, doubts or little lies the devil whispers in my ear. Remembering how to remain righteousness during times of conflict. Always staying flexible and willing, ready for all that God may bring into my life. Seeking God's peace to calm the storms inside of me. Having Faith in Gods plan and timing even though it can feel like I have been in the wilderness FOREVER. Remembering all that I deserve, but knowing that I don't have to face my punishment because Jesus saved me and chose to take it all. And the Word of God...which I need to keep turning to during the wilderness times, as it is how God can speak to me and teach me.

During tough or wilderness times, there are often 2 reactions. Some people choose to get angry at God. Get impatient. Get bitter. Get tired and stay in bed, feeling sorry for themselves. Grumble and go and seek other options. Whilst others react by pushing into God. They spend time praying, reading, listening to messages, and worshiping even when they don't feel like it. They choose to use the tough times as a way of pushing closer to God, and allowing Him to teach and grow them. Which way do you react?

The tough times are not mistakes. God didnt forget about you whilst He was off blessing someone else. They can actually be critical times in your life where, if you allow Him, God can train you and prepare you for whats ahead. You may not be able to control all the situations in your life, but you can choose to control how you react to them. You can use the wilderness times as simply a way of killing time...or you can use them to grow and become a better person, ready for what lies ahead.

Dont get impatient and settle for the slave woman...

Sometimes...ok, alot of the time, we get impatient with God. We want something...whether its a good paying job, a new house, a husband, or a baby. We want it, and we know as Christians that God wants to bless us. However, often we let our impatience cause us to settle. Instead of waiting for God's promise in His perfect timing, we take things into our own hands and, like Abraham's wife Sarah, we settle for the slave woman Hagar.

Sarah knew that God had promised her her own baby. The dream and desire of her heart. But Sarah, instead of focusing on God and His promise, chose to focus on her circumstances. Her age. She let her emotions be higher than her faith, and she let herself be convinced that having her own baby wasn't possible. It says in Genesis 18:12 that Sarah overhead the Lord tell Abraham that in a years time she was going to have a child...and what did she do? She laughed and doubted that she could have such happiness. Maybe we often settle for less than God's best because we too don't believe that we will be given such happiness. Maybe we settle for what comes along first, and instead of waiting on God and trusting His timing and His blessing, we panic and think we should just settle for what we can see in the immediate.

Now there is a difference between being far too fussy or refusing to even look at what's in front of you because you are waiting for "something better to come along". But when you are believing for something...you must decide how you act during this time of waiting. Do you start to panic and look around at other options? Do you try to take things into your own hands? Don't wait for Gods timing but instead rush into something without having true peace about it? Are you inevitably trying to have your baby through a slave woman like Sarah did, rather than being patient and waiting on God.

I think it was Joyce Meyer who once said that Patience isn't waiting. Patience is how you act WHILE you are waiting. If you are grumbling, complaining, panicking or looking for other options while you wait...you actually aren't being patient. Patience means...allowing God to bring His promises and blessing into your life in His perfect timing, rather than settling for the slave woman.

If you make a choice...God can always bless it and bring out the best in it. God didn't forget about Ishmael, the slave woman's son. But it wasn't His best for Sarah. As for me...I want to wait for God's best. Which sometimes means saying no to the wrong options, as great as they may seem. It means clinging on to your faith in God, when things feel tough or dry or confusing. Staying patient and choosing not to look at your circumstances. Keeping your eyes on God's plan. And not letting your thoughts or emotions get so overwhelming that you cant hear God in the chaos of your mind/life.

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

When it feels like there are a hundred options in front of you, but you don't know which one is right? When you don't know what the next step is? When you can't see past today?

We all have seasons in our life when we feel confusion and anxiety about the future. Sometimes it comes when there has been huge change in our lives. Or at other times it comes when life feels like it has been the same for SO long and you are desperate for change.

My season in Africa has ended...for now. It was an adventure that completely changed my life and who I am. I can honestly say that I have never felt so free and at peace with myself than I did being in that country. Its impossible to explain, but after having your heart stretched and rearranged; your eyes opened and priorities changed...I just felt like the real me for the first time.

But...now I have left Africa, and after a whirlwind visit back home to Sydney...I have arrived in the USA. And so now the next part of my journey continues. But...I dont really know where this journey is going to take me. I dont know for how long I want to stay in the USA. Or whether I want to go back to Africa. Or whether I go home. I dont know what the next step is. And that can feel pretty scary and overwhelming. But I was reminded today that this isn't just a geographical journey for me. Its more about a journey of trust and faith.

I recently reread a great book called The Shack. In it the man character is challenged about where most humans spend their thoughts...which of course is in the future and the past. We very rarely truly live in the present. We miss so much beauty in the today, by worrying about what is to come, or reflecting (or blaming) on what was. Maybe sometimes God gives us seasons where He doesnt tell us what tomorrow will bring. He doesnt yet reveal His plans. He doesnt give us all the answers. I believe that this may mean that, as well as then having to trust Him with our tomorrows, it should allow us to relax and simply enjoy our today. I really want to learn to do what it says in the scriptures about not worrying what tomorrow will bring, as tomorrow will take care of itself. And also where it talks about how worrying doesnt add a single thing to my life. Anxiety and worry is just a tool that the devil uses to make us take our eyes off God. When we worry, we are pretty much saying to God that we don't think He is able to help or manage our situation/concerns. Which we know is crazy, because the bible tells us that nothing is impossible for God.

So...if you are trying to figure out the next step in your life, just stop for a moment. As Ps Brian once said - if you are confused about a decision, then maybe its not the best time to make that decision. So stop worrying or over-analysing (yes, definitely talking to the girls there!). Pray. Trust that at the right time God will give you peace or lack of it, in order to open or close a door. His timing is perfect. He hasn't forgotten you. And He's not sitting around frantically trying to work out what to do because this was unexpected to him. Trust him. And then enjoy the moment. Stop and look around at whats in your hands/life right now. Don't miss it because you are worrying about the future. The future will arrive just at the right time. And if you seek His will and plans, you can be guaranteed you will end up on the right track. Without any of that pesky worry stealing your precious beauty sleep...