Thursday, October 14, 2010

Stop trying to figure it all out!!


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" NIV Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen from God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. He's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume you know it all". The Message

"With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow" CEV.

Which ever way you say it, God asks us to trust Him. Life isn't always easy. We will regularly be faced with challenges, fears, anxiety, conflict. Sometimes it becomes a spiritual attack, where the devil throws everything at you all at once. You can feel tired and confused and overwhelmed and attacked and alone and...like you are going crazy.

But God asks us to trust him. We need to trust Him with all of our heart. Which means...trust that He knows our desires, our fears, our dreams, our wishes, our plans and our motives. He knows everything about us. So we need to get to a place where we can leave all those things in His hands. We cant trust Him with some of our heart and keep somethings to ourselves to be anxious about. No, it means trusting Him with the little and the big things! And sometimes...the little things are harder to do that with. They seem so small and insignificant to others that you doubt God would care. But if they are important to you, then trust that they are important to God too. So hand him your desires, plans, fears and the desperate cry in your heart. Trust that He hears you. And trust that He cares about you, enough to have made a wonderful plan for your life.

Dont rely on your understanding. As much as we think we know about a situation, we will never see the big picture. We cant truly understand someone else's motives, desires, and the bigger life plan that is happening. We have to learn not to see a small piece of the picture, and presume we know what the whole picture looks like. We don't. That why we need faith. To realise that God sees everything. And he is making decisions that are best for everyone, and not just what you want. You have to know that if He closes a door, then it means that down that corridor there was something that wasn't right for you. And if He opens a door, even one you dont want to walk through, if you step through it in faith, down the track you will see exactly why the door opened and you will be so thankful. That's what God promises. He works behind the scenes, in ways our brains can't comprehend. So Trust him. And DON'T overanalyse and try to figure out everything in your brain. Its impossible. And all you will do is get more stressed and still not have all the answers!!

Listen for God's voice and let Him lead you. If you are stressed and trying to figure out everything on your own, you actually don't make room in your brain for God's voice. It would be like being in a crowded room, and trying to listen to someone whisper on the other side of the room. Its impossible. I think God speaks to us in a "small, quiet voice" because He needs us to stop and lean closer into Him. Sure, sometimes if we are stubborn and aren't listening, He comes and bops us on the head to get our attention. But I think if we can learn to quiet our mind and heart, and lean into God, He will always lead us. Which would save us a lot of headaches! God wants to speak to us. He wants to guide us and show us the best way. Sometimes, yes, He is quiet. This may be because you have been disobedient, and you need to deal with that issue first and get yourself right with God. Or it may be because God wants to develop in you a passionate, desperate need for Him and to hear from Him. But keep listening for God's voice. You may hear it through reading His word. From spending quiet time with Him and listening to what He drops into your spirit. Or it may come through someone else speaking to you. But if you spend more time listening out for God than you do analysing your problem and trying to solve it yourself...then you know you will get on the right path sooner!

He will clear the road ahead and keep you on track. I truly believe that if you keep God's will at the centre of what you want; if you desire His will more than anything selfish...no matter what decision you make, He will keep you on track. He will either bless you if you are heading in the right decision. Or He will block you if not, until you eventually get on the right path. I learnt that recently in my own life. When I was walking down a track purely because I thought He wanted me to be there, but it was the wrong path! However God saw that the cry of my heart was to live out His plan and will for my life, so therefore why would He leave me to walk the wrong way!? No, He closed the door and forced me to reroute...and He put me on the right road. I just had to allow Him to reroute me, without knowing where the new path was! Thats part of the trust journey.

God knows whats best for us. He sees the big picture. He weighs up our desires and our wishes with whats best for us. He makes decisions that are best for us. Sometimes we may not think that at the time, but keep trusting Him, and in my experience, eventually it all makes sense. And don't let your mind and heart be filled with worry. Its simply a waste of emotion, and makes it harder to hear from God. Trust that whatever happens, is because God loves you and He will make it work out for the best.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions [requests] and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life "Phil 4: 6-7 Message

Monday, October 4, 2010

Compassion...


So today I met Gimbo. After 7 years of sponsoring her through Compassion, I finally had the privilege of meeting her here in Uganda. And it became very clear how naive I had been. I guess I just imagined for those 7 years that she was sitting in her little house with her family (ok, so I really thought it was a hut but I didnt want to seem TOO stereotypical!), being nicely supported by the money I was able to give her, writing me letters, and all good in the world. Wow. Today her story broke my heart, and was then healed with pride and love for her.
I learnt that her mother and grandmother both died recently. Which sadly often in Uganda can mean the end of the family. Sometimes the dad goes and gets another wife, and the children are split up between family or abandoned. With Gimbo...noone in her family wants her. And even just writing that brings an ache to my heart. She doesn't know where her siblings are or when she will see them again. Thankfully...she lives in a boarding school, however I am not sure that any fees get paid for her. Not even what I give her can cover them all. The only new clothes she gets comes from the money that I send her for Christmas and her birthday, because usually the family provides them. She doesn't even always have books for school, toothpaste, or a meal other than the beans she gets every day. And I hate beans...so that broke my heart even more!
However...when she smiled...to me she was the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen. She still had such a sense of joy and peace and hope about her. She was kind and gracious and giving. We went to see a widow, who has taken Gimbo under her wing. I gave Gimbo some gifts and groceries that I had bought for her for school. And the first thing she did was to take half the food and give it to this widow. I have everything I need in the world. Plus more. And she essentially has nothing. Yet she gives so freely and generously from the little that I gave her.

Uganda has changed me forever. I knew it would...but today really changed my heart.
What do I find my joy in? Things? Money? Or Love.
What do I do with what I have in my life? Use it selfishly? Or give it away freely.
I think slowly...I am becoming the latter. Hopefully. Money will never own me again. It cant bring you the joy and peace and hope and love that I sensed today. More than ever...I want to be a vessel for what God brings into my life. A pipe...where things flow out of my life and into others, as quickly as God pours blessing into my life.
I want to do more. I want to save them all. Every child that runs up to this Mzungu...I want to change their life too. I want to love and be a mum to all the babies who have been abandoned. I want to be God's hands and feet.
But...I can't do it all. But I can do something. I can keep loving and giving into this one girl's life. Pray that she finishes her studies, and becomes an accountant, like she dreams. That she can then support herself, and then, knowing her generous heart...I am sure that she in turn will support others. Maybe if I just allow my heart to deepen with compassion, and grow even more in love with her (although I am not sure that's possible)...then eventually the love filters down to many others. God's love. And through His love...many lives can be changed.

"What if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge?
And what if I had faith that moved mountains?
I would be nothing, unless I loved others.
What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burnt alive?
I would gain nothing, unless I loved others." 1 Corinthians 13: 2-3