Well I have finally arrived in the Big Apple...New York City. And when people say it moves fast here, they aren't kidding! After 2 weeks here, it already feels like I have been here forever. But here I am...ready to step into my next God adventure.
Before I arrived, a friend warned me that moving to NYC could be tough. Initially staying on different people's floors. Potentially lonely. Many possible nights filled with tears. So it is with that in mind, that as I reflect on my first 2 weeks here, that I am AMAZED at God's hand on this season.
I arrived in NYC...just. The concept of packing light has never been a strong point for me, and I proved this again as I got on the train in Virginia with 4 bags. The rule for the train was essentially that "you could bring them if you could carry them". Well...I was certainly going to give it a good go. But as the train was approaching Penn Station in NYC...I realised that I may have over-estimated myself. I managed to get 3 under control, but trying to balance them and access my other suitcase in the storage compartment proved to be a challenge. As the other passengers pushed past me to get off the train, with images of the train doors closing and me being still ON the train clearly in my mind...I started praying! And then, the last lady got off the train...looked back and asked "Do you need any help??" Oh thank goodness!! So my knight-ess in shining armour helped me get my last bag off the train, and then helped me carry them upstairs and into New York. I was then rescued again by my lovely friend Susanna, who I had only just met recently in Uganda....and after a quick dinner, we (all my bags included!!!) were picked up by the family she nannies for and taken home in their beautiful luxury car. I had arrived!!
Since then...I have been blessed to be able to stay with this lovely family while finding my feet in NYC. Most of my days have been spent helping look after the 4 year old boy and two 2 year old twin girls. Talk about cute!! In the meantime...God was bringing another angel into my NYC world! My friend (and soon to be flatmate) Janelle and her boyfriend Ian arrived in NYC a few days after me, and I have never met such efficient people!!! Less than a week after they arrived...they had both found apartments (including where I was going to live), and started to arrange all the furniture and things needed, including a bed for me!! Holy Smoke! I couldn't have asked for anything better. Such a God blessing. Here I was, moving to this huge, crazy city, worried about where I would stay initially, and then live long term, and how I would arrange it all...and God blessed me with such amazing people who made the whole process a breeze!!
And then....after a week here, I finally got to go to Hillsong church NYC!! After not getting to attend a Hillsong church since September last year, I was so excited to be "back home". But nervous. About whether it would feel the same as Sydney. Whether it would feel like family. Whether I would make any friends, or would everyone be these 5th Ave supermodels that I couldnt relate too. But after a few emails before the day, I arrived at church on Sunday...and stepped into my new home. I loved it. Everyone was SO welcoming. The leadership there have already entrusted me to join the key team and help build the church, and that night everyone was so friendly and warm, helping me somehow find my feet and keep running all at the same time. As I stood there, I was reminded of the feeling that I had at conference in July. The awareness of my potential with God...and a deep desire to step up and be all He has called me to be. Like Esther...to allow everything I have learnt and done so far to be used for "such a time as this". Yes...its scary. But as I stood in worship and sang "Because You're with me...I will not fear", I found my trust and faith growing again. Which seems impossible, as it has grown so much already since this journey began. But...more than ever before, I am aware of my dependence on God.
I cant make my savings last...but with His help and miracles, I do not fear. I have been blessed by Emad and his family, found some amazingly cheap bargains, and had a God miracle on the rent for our apartment.
I cant build the events team at church without God. But already I feel his wisdom and ideas guiding me, plus the help of some amazing friends back home.
I still dont know where this season will lead...or how long it will last...but for the first time ever, I can feel God so tangibly, that its impossible to fear. He is opening doors, making a way, guiding me and blessing me. Its the biggest stretch season of my life....with lots of challenges ahead, but my faith is growing at an even faster rate.
I am reminded of where it talks in the bible about seeking God's kingdom first, and how He will then add everything you need to your life. If ever that felt like a nice little notion, those days have gone. Now it feels like a reality. How can God not bless those who seek after Him with everything? And of course that doesn't have to look like my journey. It can be equally as real to those working hard in standard jobs, or raising kids at home. Seeking after Him is...about having a deep passionate desire in your heart. For God. For His People. For His House. Its about letting go of all the "things" that we cling to, that we think are going to make us feel safe and happy. But they don't. He will supply all of our needs, if we simply let go and trust Him. And that is the scary, but exhilarating journey I am on. If someone would have said to me a few years ago that I would be living in NYC, having given up work to volunteer and build His house, live on savings... I would have laughed. The stress of figuring out how that would even be possible would have done my head in. But now...I am loving NOT having all the answers. Not knowing exactly where the doors will take me. Not knowing how it will all happen. But having an unshakable faith in the One who does.
I don't know if my story will ever encourage anyone else. I certainly don't recommend doing such a crazy journey unless you knew it was from God. But I do know...that one day, as I may find myself sitting back in a normal job, in whatever town or city I will be living in....I wont be the same. My faith will never shrink back to thinking I have to have all the answers. That I have to strive and fight to hear from God and try to figure it all out on my own. I have learnt to listen for his voice. To seek his peace. To be willing to stop and wait if I don't hear it. And to step away from the crowd...and be the brave one who steps out of the boat. Yes, I will go through times where I look at my circumstances, start to panic and sink a little. But this journey has shown me, tangibly, the goodness and faithfulness of God. So I know I wont sink far. I will lift my head again. Look to Him. Remember how nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing. Remember how He filled my life with miracles and blessing and joy and peace and freedom, at the time that I gave up my life for Him. And remember that if we seek after Him...desperately and passionately desire a deeper relationship with him...then He will never let us down.
So...what does NYC hold for me now?? Guess we all have to wait and see...
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