As I stand in the doorway of 2011...I wonder whats on the other side. This year feels different. I feel different. I know that I am about to step into a new season. A new beginning. I feel scared and excited. But mostly...I feel a new passion. A passion to serve God like never before. To be all that I can be. Like it talks about in Psalm 42, my heart truly thirsts for God. And if you have ever been truly thirsty, you will know the desperation that that brings.
Its New Years Eve. A time to reflect back over the last 12 months. And also to think about what 2011 may bring. When I started this blog...I wanted to go on an adventure and turn around "365 degrees". To see more of what is out there. But to simply turn 365 degrees can mean that, by the end, you may have seen more, but you may still be the same size. But...after only 4 months, I have realised that I will never be the same size again.
It makes me think about a message that I heard recently about being a puzzle piece. About how we are each an important and unique piece, which without us, the big picture would never be completed. But that also, through the big picture, we find our place. Our purpose. Where we fit.
As I look back over my last 12 months...actually over my last 10 years...I feel like I knew exactly where I fit. My puzzle piece was in its place, and I knew my purpose. I was content. But 2010 was a life changing year. It felt like...I stepped out of my puzzle. Just to look around. To see what else was out there. But in the process...I changed. I feel deeper in love with God. My desire to serve Him in whatever He called me to grew. My faith deepened. I fell in love and had my heart broken. I went to Africa and had my heart, mind and perspective changed forever. I am more passionate to see my friends and family saved and living free. My desire to be married and have a family, to impact my next generation, grew. I still love Australia. Still love my job. Love my church and friends at home. But I feel like I am not the same shape any more. I am bigger. Deeper. Altered forever. And now I am not sure if I will just "fit" back into my old puzzle anymore.
So...as I look forward to 2011, I realise that my journey will now also be about discovering where I fit. Maybe its finding a new puzzle. Ending up somewhere that I never expected, but living out my potential in a whole new way. Realising that my new desires, dreams, passions, stretch and even the desert times were for "such a time as this". Or maybe it will be about going back to my old puzzle, but enlarging my space there. Going back to where I loved, but making a bigger impact. I don't know.
So...standing in the doorway to 2011...I wait. I feel like I want to step through and serve God like never before. However I am thankful that God doesn't see me as His servant. He sees me as His daughter. Which means that He is filled with love, dreams, plans and blessings for me. So no matter where I fit, and whats on the other side of the doorway...I know that it will be better than whats behind me. That the best is yet to come in my life. And I pray that 2011 is filled with God's best. For me...and for you. Happy New Year.
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