Compassion...

So today I met Gimbo. After 7 years of sponsoring her through Compassion, I finally had the privilege of meeting her here in Uganda. And it became very clear how naive I had been. I guess I just imagined for those 7 years that she was sitting in her little house with her family (ok, so I really thought it was a hut but I didnt want to seem TOO stereotypical!), being nicely supported by the money I was able to give her, writing me letters, and all good in the world. Wow. Today her story broke my heart, and was then healed with pride and love for her.
I learnt that her mother and grandmother both died recently. Which sadly often in Uganda can mean the end of the family. Sometimes the dad goes and gets another wife, and the children are split up between family or abandoned. With Gimbo...noone in her family wants her. And even just writing that brings an ache to my heart. She doesn't know where her siblings are or when she will see them again. Thankfully...she lives in a boarding school, however I am not sure that any fees get paid for her. Not even what I give her can cover them all. The only new clothes she gets comes from the money that I send her for Christmas and her birthday, because usually the family provides them. She doesn't even always have books for school, toothpaste, or a meal other than the beans she gets every day. And I hate beans...so that broke my heart even more!
However...when she smiled...to me she was the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen. She still had such a sense of joy and peace and hope about her. She was kind and gracious and giving. We went to see a widow, who has taken Gimbo under her wing. I gave Gimbo some gifts and groceries that I had bought for her for school. And the first thing she did was to take half the food and give it to this widow. I have everything I need in the world. Plus more. And she essentially has nothing. Yet she gives so freely and generously from the little that I gave her.

Uganda has changed me forever. I knew it would...but today really changed my heart.
What do I find my joy in? Things? Money? Or Love.
What do I do with what I have in my life? Use it selfishly? Or give it away freely.
I think slowly...I am becoming the latter. Hopefully. Money will never own me again. It cant bring you the joy and peace and hope and love that I sensed today. More than ever...I want to be a vessel for what God brings into my life. A pipe...where things flow out of my life and into others, as quickly as God pours blessing into my life.
I want to do more. I want to save them all. Every child that runs up to this Mzungu...I want to change their life too. I want to love and be a mum to all the babies who have been abandoned. I want to be God's hands and feet.
But...I can't do it all. But I can do something. I can keep loving and giving into this one girl's life. Pray that she finishes her studies, and becomes an accountant, like she dreams. That she can then support herself, and then, knowing her generous heart...I am sure that she in turn will support others. Maybe if I just allow my heart to deepen with compassion, and grow even more in love with her (although I am not sure that's possible)...then eventually the love filters down to many others. God's love. And through His love...many lives can be changed.

"What if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge?
And what if I had faith that moved mountains?
I would be nothing, unless I loved others.
What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burnt alive?
I would gain nothing, unless I loved others." 1 Corinthians 13: 2-3