**Dependence on God**

So I turned 31 two days ago. Gosh that sounds...older. Dont want to say old because I dont FEEL old. But gosh...31. But I am excited...because it truly feels like one season of my life is ending, and another is beginning. I have 2.5 weeks of work left...and 3.5 weeks until I fly out!! Crazy!! My house is getting packed up. My car is getting sold. I am getting ready to hand over my patients at work. Whilst at the same time I am looking towards the future, and trying to navigate what lies ahead.
I am constantly reminded of how much I need to keep depending on God. I listened to an amazing message a week ago by Darren Kitto. He spoke on Season of Life...and how we need to stay dependent on God. Here is a summary of what he said, because it really spoke to me...so I hope I do it and him justice!

He spoke on Moses, from the book of Exodus. He talked about how Moses was going through a great season...knew his calling, and was confident in that. However he became a little cocky and took things upon himself and acted prematurely...killing someone. When he realised what he had done...he fled to the desert, where he lived for 40 years. 40 looong years!! And then it says that God spoke to him. Which potentially means that he may have gone 40 years without hearing from God! Wowsers! Anyways...God tells him what He wants him to do, but Moses has lost his confidence and asks God 5 questions:

Firstly he asks God "Who am I?"... And God replies and tells him that its not about who Moses is, but about God. And that when God is with us...it doesn't matter who we are, just who God is.

Secondly Moses asks "What shall I say?"...realising that he doesn't have all the answers. And God replies and says "tell them I Am". We need to realise that God is big enough to be God. We don't need to tell people what to do, fix them, condemn them, judge them or always feel pressured to say the right thing. God is big enough to be God to people...all we have to do is point them towards Him, and let Him do the rest.

Thirdly Moses asks "What if they don't believe me?"...again showing his awareness that he cant do it alone. And God tells him to look at what's in his hand. When Moses fled, he became a shepherd, so of course he had a staff in his hand. But God wants us to not write off whats in our hand and presume that its useless...but to change our perspective and see the potential in what is in our life. What may be annoying/frustrating/worthless to us, may be exactly what someone else is desperate for. And God can use everything that's in our hand for His purpose, if we allow him.

Fourthly, Moses points out his insecurities by saying "But I am slow in speech". But God says to him "Who makes mouths, and makes people speak or not speak?" God reminds us that He is bigger than our failings. So instead of focusing on our failings...we need to focus on Him instead.

And lastly Moses...still not getting it...asks "Cant you send someone else?". Seriously...God showed patience here with poor old Moses! He shows Moses his brother Aaron, and points out that he is a good speaker. This shows us that, despite our failures and weaknesses, God can bring people into our life so that we don't need to do the journey alone, and that God will combine our strengths with another person's strengths to get his purpose achieved.

Moses was reminded in the desert of how much he needed God. Moses may have had a calling in his life, like you and I do, but if we allow ourselves to be full of pride or arrogance, and don't totally depend on God...then we will never truly walk in that calling.

So...as I step into my journey...I am reminded again how much I need God. As long as He is with me...I will be ok. I dont need to be God to those around me...just live my life in a way that points others to Him. I need to appreicate my seasons and my circumstances, and be humble in simply using whats in my hand to do what I can. I need to not focus on my failings, and keep my focus on God. And I need to appreciate the people God puts in my life, and not get jealous or competitive with them...but simply see how together, we can all walk into our callings...